Beauty flowed from every inch of her body. She could feel every man in there looking her over.
Vultures, every single one of them! She gingerly reached down to feel her lazer, just wanting to know it was there. The touch of cold metal reassured her that whatever these men had in store for a lovely young women foolish enough to be alone, she could handle.
“Can I get you somthin’, darlin’?” the bar owner asked, interrupting her crazy thoughts. The bar tender was somewhere in her early fifties and was heavy set. Isadora could see all the way down her too low shirt.
“Um…” Isadora replied absent mindedly.
“Don’t be shy! Just tell me what you want,” demanded the lady.
“I’ll have a Fire, over the rocks,” Isadora responded authoritatively.
“Whatever you say, darlin’.” She then turned and headed toward the counter that held every kind of alcoholic beverage known to mankind.
“Isn’t that a bit strong for a young lady such as yourself?”A deep voice asked inquisitively.
Isadora spun around to meet a pair of dark, lustful eyes. She glanced behind the twenty something year old, to see three other men seated at one of the multiple round, wooden tables which were spread out around the room. The dim light made it hard to see the faces clearly and the mingling of voices and music made it impossible to decipher any noises whatsoever. The laughter coming from the female whores was almost intolerable for Isadora. She detested these kinds of men and could not figure out why she agreed to meet her best friend, Caley, here.
The man’s anger was suddenly spurred when Isadora did not respond to his question. He was obviously drunk.
“Don’t ignore me!” he demanded, grabbing onto her arm.
His comrades immediately jumped up, ready to come to his aid, wanting to join in the fun.
Isadora slowly reached down with her other hand as cautiously as she could, hoping that this drunk manic would not notice.
“Um...what was the question?” she asked innocently.
A cold smile formed on his lips. “Well, it’s not important. But, I have something else in mind instead.”
Fear suddenly gripped her, but she kept it from entering her eyes and concentrated on tightening her grip on her lazer.
“What did you have in mind?” she questioned harshly.
Just then, the inn keeper returned with her drink. “Here you are darlin’.”
“Thanks, I’ll take that,” the man answered for her.
He reached with his free hand toward the Fire.
“Well, now don’t you make a nice couple?” The inn keeper chuckled. “We have bedrooms upstairs if you…desire to lie down.” She smiled.
“Um…no thank you. We don’t need a …”Isadora started.
“Be quiet woman. We may need that room,” He looked at Isadora, “soon.” He pronounced the word with a sarcastic grin. She knew that this man was toying with her. Isadora’s temper flared, but she held her temper in check, waiting for the right moment to strike.
“Well, whenever you’re ready for that room, just ask for Arlene. I will then have Dora lead you to where you can do your thing. Such a lovely couple.”
She sighed, and then walked away from them, leaving Isadoara still in the grasp of this monster.
Stalling for time, she quickly asked, “So, what is your name?”
He smiled slyly. “Ajay.”
“My, aren’t we arrogant, since Ajay means unconquerable.”
His temper was aroused. “I believed we need that key now!” Ajay shouted.
His men laughed behind him, ready for the fun to begin.
“Of course, Sir,” a young girl about the age of eighteen replied.
“Caley! What are you doing here?” Isadora asked surprised.
“Dora? I have been looking all over for you! Sorry I used your nickname, but come on. Like I was going to use my real name? This is why I asked if you would meet me here. I got a job! I work here. Isn’t that awesome?”
“Enough chit chat! Do you have the key?”
“OH.” She said knowingly. “Of course I do.” She winked at Isadora. “Here you go big boy. Take care of her now.” She then floated off thinking she was carrying a big secret.
Ajay smiled at his captive. Isadora held back a shiver and concentrated on her plan for escape. Ajay led her up the stairs into the back of the room. He pushed Isadora into a small room and followed her in, turning to lock the door behind him. She could hear the muffled groans of his friends at their disappointment in not being able to participate in this sick charade. He then turned around to face her with a wicked grin on his face.
“Well now. Shall we begin?”
“As you wish!” Isadora unsheathed her lazer and brought it around so that he could now see the dangerous weapon that had been hidden from view. She pushed it against his throat with inhumanly speed. He was barely aware that it was held to his throat until he felt the heat. But instead of fear, his eyes were filled with rage. Hers burned with hatred.
“Now who is the helpless victim?” She demanded.
“I am far from helpless.” In his hand was another lazer and within seconds, it was held against Isadora’s throat.
“It looks like we are at an impasse. How about you just put down your lazer and I will let you leave?”
“How am I suppose to believe you, much less trust you, after you just tried to rape me!”
“Like you have a choice!” his voice raised to match the intensity of Isadora’s.
Ajay then tried to knock the weapon out of her hand by flicking his so that supposedly her weapon would fall to the ground. Instead, Isadora easily parried the blow and made an attempt to strike. He blocked easily as well. It was apparent that both fighters were evenly matched. They struggled through a series of complicated moves, each opponent knowing that if the other won, they would not live. After an hour of this, both were starting to get sloppy. Isadora found it harder to anticipate Ajay’s next move. She wanted to run, but knew that Ajay’s friends would stop her before she even had a chance.
Suddenly Ajay received a devastating blow from behind. “That should take care of him. Are you alright? You look a little pale.” A man around the age of nineteen inquired calmly, yet with concern.
Isadora stood there, her hand now limp and drooping at her side. She could barely breathe, let alone move!
He took the blue lazer from her and put it up so that it could do no more harm. As soon as it was out of her hand, she collapsed upon the strong, sturdy body in front of her.
“Easy now. How about you lay down.”
Fear returned to her eyes as she recognized the words as a command and not a request. Isadora stiffened in his warm, comforting, tan arms. She forced her eyes to meet his blue-eyed gaze, surprised to find them filled with concern instead of the longing passion which was lodged in the eyes of most men, and which she had come to recognize.
“Please,” he said in a soft, low voice.
Isadora felt a though she would do anything for that wonderful, musical voice. She nodded her head. The brown haired savior led her over to the old, rickety bed. A look of disgust crossed his face as he saw blood stains on the pristine, white sheets left there from its previous occupants.
His eyes burned with passion, but his voice was completely under control. “Do you live nearby?”
She shook her head no.
He frowned. “I live just a little ways off. You can rest there. I will explain Ajay’s actions, and mine, once you are fully recovered. Then I expect an explanation from you as well,” he said casually. “Until then, I’m Caden. Now, are you ready, my lady?” he asked.
Another nod.
Caden then scooped her up into his arms and carried her down the wooden stairs. Isadora leaned her head against his strong chest and placed her small, cold hands around his neck. She sighed with content.
Caden looked down at the sleeping beauty. He loved the feel of holding her delicate form against his strong frame.
“Conrad, hire a coach to take us home. I want you to take my horse with you. If you lose him or harm him in any way, you will pay dearly. Do you understand, Conrad?”
“Yes master. I will do as you command.”
After a quick bow, Conrad rushed out of the room and dashed into the inn’s stable. He purchased a carriage, a fresh work horse, and a driver, all with his master’s money. The driver was instructed to pull around front. Once there, he opened the ornate carriage door to allow his mysterious passengers entry into the magnificent coach.
Caden placed his precious cargo onto the soft, leather seat, and sat across from the still form. She looked fragile and helpless, yet the way she handled herself in the Shadow Inn, he knew she was nothing but in need of assistance. Caden was surprised that this young beauty could leave such an impression on his well guarded mind. There were few girls who triggered even a mild interest from Caden, though many had tried to win him. But, for some odd reason that even he could not explain, Caden found himself mystified and entranced by a complete stranger! He quickly dismissed the feeling as a desire to help people who were weak and in need of help.
As all these thoughts spun around in his head, the carriage quickly approached its destination so that by the time Caden had cleared his mind, the coach was pulling up to a white mansion.
“Miss, we’re here,” he gently whispered to his guest.
A soft moan was the only reply he received from her full, luscious lips.
Caden stepped out, then turned and picked up Isadora. He then proceeded to carry her inside.
Dashiell, the young male page, held the door open for his master.
“Tell Cassandra to prepare the finest guest room we have. I want a hot cup of soothing tea waiting for her when she awakes along with fresh,” he examined what the young girl was wearing, “civilized clothing. Also, have a hot bath drawn and waiting for her as well.”
“As you wish, sir.”
“Have Elizabeth attend her when she awakens.”
“Yes sir.”
The young page dashed off in order to relay his master’s orders. He wished for nothing else but to please his kind-hearted master. The boy had his own reasons for this, as did every servant who worked for Caden. Dashiell had lost his parents when he was 5 years old and was left to starve on the unforgiving streets of Nixon city, the largest city in the Realms. Caden, at the age of fifteen, had found him and, showing the characteristic compassion, he had taken the boy in, fed him, clothed him, and boarded him at his father’s estate. When Dashiell was old enough to work, Caden provided him with a steady, decent paying job. The errand boy was indebted to his kind master and did everything in his power to please him.
Now, as he rushed down the beautiful hallways and the immaculate archways to the well-furnished serving quarters, Dashiell thought about everything his master had done for him, and others, while he resided in this colorfully painted castle.
“Cass,” he called as he entered the “living room”.
The “living room” was a vast, relaxing area especially built for the attendants of Mr. Collins. It was furnished with hand carved wood furniture. Books filled two complete walls and a fire place stood ready for the bitter cold winters.
Caden believed in people being well educated, and, despite his culture, believed that women, as well as men, should both be able to obtain scores of information.
“What do you want, Dashiell?” sighed Cassandra.
Besides being a loyal servant, Dashiell was a huge flirt and would chase basically anyone who wore a skirt and was at least somewhat near his age.
“Why, gorgeous,” he said smoothly, “I just wanted to see your beautiful face.” He flashed a dazzling grin, for, in truth, he was very attractive, made even more so by all the lovely young ladies he had chasing after him.
Cass rolled her eyes. “Dashiell, I don’t have time…” she started.
He cut her off. “And to tell you,” he paused dramatically, “that the boss wants you to get some fresh female clothes for some woman guest, a fresh hot cup of tea and hot bath waiting for her when she awakes and Elizabeth attend her,” he finished smugly.
Through this whole conversation, Cassandra’s face held a delighted smile and her eyes sparkled with anticipation. But as Dashiell had stated his last sentence, her heart plummeted and her face fell.
Dashiell held a smirk on his face. Every servant knew of Cassandra’s attraction to their nineteen-year-old master.
Even though Cassandra would never admit to anyone her deep love for Caden, she desired for him to look upon her with favor. She wanted to succeed in what other girls had failed to do: win Caden. So far, however, she had been unsuccessful. Caden treated her like he did every other servant.
This is why, at the news that Elizabeth, Cassandra’s arch enemy, a witch who had also set her eyes on the wealthy lord, Cass’s temper flared and her heart sank.
“Don’t worry, my love,” Dashiell said while placing his arm around her thin waist. “I’ll always be here for you.”
She shoved his hand away, and then screeched as she noticed a wrinkle in her freshly pressed black uniform and a smudge on her pristine white apron.
“What’s the matter, darling,” asked Elizabeth sarcastically; “having to settle for second best bothering your integrity?” she smirked.
“Why you…”
“She’s awake!” yelled another serving girl, interrupting the soon to be violent feud.
Both young ladies dashed off to complete their tasks.
***
Even though Caden was unaware of this conversation, he was aware of the “special” attentions he received from his female servants, just as he was aware of the jealousy between them.
Caden had his own reasons for entrusting the sleeping beauty in the care of a man chaser. He wanted Elizabeth to realize that under no circumstances would he ever fall for her kind, nor was he going to allow her to add his name among the conquered.
A smile touched his face as he thought of the expressions that would play across her’s. First, she would purr like a cat for being able to constantly be around him. Then she would do everything in her power in order to ensnare her always aloof prey. When she discovers that he is being kind to another girl, her anger would spark, providing his favorite female servant, Cass, an opportunity to taunt the ever prideful and cocky Elizabeth York.
He was chagrined that it had come to him resorting to sly tricks and schemes, but the truth was that Caden didn’t have the time to deal with a money chasing whore. His occupation required a lot of him, and he realized that a girlfriend of any kind would only serve as a distraction.
He sighed.
“Master!” yelled Maria, “Your guest is awake!”
“Thank you, Maria. I will go to her immediately. Were my instructions followed?”
“To the exact degree, sir,” Maria, another serving girl, said as she fluttered her dark eyelashes.
Caden ignored her obvious flirtations. “Very well. Thank you, Maria.”
Caden turned around and headed toward the guest bedroom. He heard shouting from where he stood outside the dark burgundy door.
He knocked on the painted wood door. The sound went unnoticed. Caden pushed on the door and found the young woman, eyes sparkling dangerously, standing up and alert to the stranger who had just entered her foreign quarters.
“Is there a problem?” he questioned with authority.
“She is being difficult!” Elizabeth yelled furiously.
Isadora kept silent, not caring what they thought of her. All she wanted was her lazer back. Between the times she had collapsed and now, the magnificent weapon, which she had built herself, had disappeared. She felt completely vulnerable without her favorite companion.
Caden was impressed with the discretion this woman showed. Instead of arguing pointlessly with Elizabeth, she stood as if awaiting her punishment.
He held up his hands in surrender, “Don’t worry. I don’t bite.” He smiled.
Isadora glared at him through narrow slits.
“I won’t hurt you,” he said in a softer tone, as if speaking to a shy deer.
“My lazer, sir.” She demanded of whom she saw as her captor.
Taken aback, Caden blinked at the harshness of her tone. He quickly recovered.
“Your lazer, my lady, is on the bed stand right next to you.”
“And my clothes?” she continued in an icy voice.
“Were disposed of due to their…distinct odor and appearance.”
Isadora struggled to contain her temper. “Please then, sir,” she said through gritted teeth, “where, perhaps, may I acquire new ones?”
A smile again adorned Caden’s face. “I will provide your wardrobe until you are well enough or ready to leave my estate. Now, however, I would like to ask questions. Let’s start with your name.”
“Isadora.”
“Isadora…” He loved the sound of it and could taste the sweetness of her name as it left his lips. “In case you don’t remember,” he moved on, “my name is Caden. Where do you live?”
“I don’t see how that is any of your business, sir,” she stated in a dignified tone.
He smirked. “Don’t you remember our agreement a couple of days ago? Or were you too warn out, my lady?”
Isadora’s cheeks became aflame and her eyes sparked dangerously. “I had everything under control until you but in! I never asked for your help! I don’t owe you a thing!” she screamed at him.
Caden replied calmly, “No, my lady, you did not ask for my help and I’m sure you are very capable of handling any situation on your own. Nevertheless, you have my help. I do not expect you to accept it, nor do I feel that you owe me anything. I do not expect payment of any kind. You are free to do as you wish. But, I offer you a warm bath, clean clothes, and a soft bed, as well as the freedom to use any of my staff at your pleasure. When you are prepared to leave, I will acquit you with either a horse or carriage, whichever you would prefer. Dinner is in an hour. I extend my humblest apology for intervening in your affairs and ask that you will accept my poor hospitality.” Caden made an elegant bow, and then left her standing there, her face flushed a crimson red at her poor behavior.
Isadora turned toward the only staff member in the room. The young woman was furious, and Isadora was pretty sure she knew why.
“Um, excuse me miss,” she said in a softer tone than before, “do you know where I can clean up?”
“In there,” she huffed as she pointed to a door off to the side of the elaborate room.
“Miss…”
“Elizabeth.”
“Miss Elizabeth, would you be so kind as to fetch me something appropriate to wear to dinner?”
Elizabeth stormed out of the room and let the door bang shut behind her.
Isadora sighed, then proceeded to take a hot shower. The warm water felt so good after traveling for several weeks. All her worry washed away as she let the water soak into her sun kissed skin. She let herself enjoy the feeling as she washed and rinsed her long brown hair. She then washed the layer of grime and dirt off of her blemish free face.
She stepped out of the shower and dried off with a gigantic soft, fluffy towel. She went back into the bedroom. On top of the newly made silk sheets was a stunning burgundy dress with sleeves that dropped off the shoulder and had a slightly low bodice .
She quickly dressed, feeling uncomfortable and very vulnerable in the revealing dinner gown. Since she had no other choice, Isadora slipped on the matching burgundy high heels, and rushed down the stairs towards the dining room, praying that she would not be late.
“She’s the most difficult person ever! Caden,” Isadora heard Elizabeth pleading as she came upon the dining room doors. “You must do something!” Elizabeth whined.
Isadora stopped and peeked through a slit in the mahogany door. Caden’s head was in his hands and he looked frustrated and annoyed with Elizabeth’s incessant babbling.
“She’s my guest, Elizabeth, and that is not going to change!” he said with a little bit of frustration.
Isadora decided that she would be Caden’s hero. She pushed on the double doors and entered the dining hall.
“Ahem. Excuse me, but I hope I’m not late.”
Caden’s face brightened. “No, not at all! In fact, you’re right on time.”
Elizabeth glared at Isadora. “I’ll talk to you latter, Caden,” she said flirtatiously. Before he could stop her, Elizabeth bent over Caden and kissed his forehead.
Caden was shocked by her actions. Most of his staff would never even imagined of making such a bold move to catch the bachelor’s attention.
“Goodbye, Caden,” called Elizabeth as she blew him a kiss.
Isadora stood there allowing the silence to grow. She bit her lip as she tried to think of what to do. She had never been this flustered before. She usually didn’t give guys a chance to try and impress her. And now, she was standing here, in a gigantic fluffy dress, worried about what this man in front of her would think.
“So…it’s Caden, right?”
Coming out of the statue pose he had just held, he replied, “Correct. Where are my manners? Will you please sit down?”
He jumped up and pulled out the plush velvet red chair for Isadora.
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome, Isadora.”
Shivers ran up and down Isadora’s spine. It was only the second time Caden had addressed her by her name. She loved to hear it from his gorgeous red lips. Looking at those lips made her want to see what it would be like just to taste them, to kiss them, to…she snapped herself out of such thoughts. You’re being stupid. This is you’re host. He’s not interested in you! And besides, you have far too much going on to get involved. She thought to herself.
“So…are you and the servant dating?”
“No. Definitely not!”
Isadora raised her eyebrow. “So, you just let random girls go around kissing you?”
Caden’s head shot up. He started to protest when he saw that her eyes were sparkling with laughter.
“Oh, sure,” he winked, “I let anyone who desires to kiss me. It’s actually a hobby of mine. I walk up to strange women and ask if they want to kiss me.”
“And how does that work out?”
“Well, at first, everyone gave me strange looks, but now they all fawn over me. They can’t wait to kiss the rich billionaire.”
“Oh, really,” she stated in a disbelieving tone as she rolled her eyes. “I would think women would have more sense than that.”
“You would think.”
Isadora smiled at their amusing conversation. Caden was astounded and left speechless by her stunning beauty.
"Do you like to dance?” he finally asked.
“I love to dance!”
“Great! Dashiell!”
“Yes, sir.”
“Is the ballroom clean and ready to use?”
“Of course sir. What music would you like me to put on?”
“Why don’t you put on the Cha Cha?”
“Are you sure sir? The Tango’s better.”
“Um, excuse me.”
“Or the Samba.”
“Excuse me.”
“Or the Waltz.”
“Excuse me!”
“Oh, I’m sorry. Were you trying to say something?”
Isadora sighed with frustration. “Yes, I was! I can’t dance any of those dances. I’m used to the…common dances. The one’s that the poor people do, not these…fancy ones!”
Caden smiled. “Don’t worry, madam. Your feet won’t even touch the floor. Dashiell please put on the waltzing music.”
“Yes sir.”
Caden got up and went around to where Isadora sat puzzled at his statement. He pulled out her chair and held out his arm to her, waiting for her to accept the offer.
Isadora could feel butterflies rushing through her stomach as she placed her hand lightly on his sleeve.
Caden could feel his heart beat faster. It was only a gentle touch, yet it felt as if she had seared him with a hot iron.
He led her into the dazzling ballroom and was pleased to see her mouth fall open and her eyes widen with astonishment.
The ball room was a gigantic room. The floor was tiled with the most expensive kind, the curtains were pure silk all the way from the orient, and the chandelier was made out of diamonds. Off in the corner was another door which led out to an elegant garden which was in full bloom. All the flowers were imported from China, Japan, and Europe.
“Take off your shoes, please,” Caden whispered into Isadora’s ear.
“Excuse me?” she asked shocked. Ladies did not do that in polite company!
“Take off your shoes.” A command now.
Isadora could feel his warm, fresh breath on the back of her neck and tickling her ear. Without thinking, she slipped her small feet out of the soft high heels. She, now barely to his shoulder, shivered as the cold floor touched her now bare feet.
Without warning, Caden picked her up gently and set her light frame onto his big, shiny, warm, dress boots. He did not remove his strong hands, but, instead, grasped her waist firmly.
“Are you ready, Isadora?” he whispered.
“Yes, Caden, I am,” she said with excitement.
Then the music started, floating down from heaven to land upon the ears of its awaiting listeners.
Caden went through the complicated steps with ease, allowing his partner to enjoy the dance.
Her heart soared as Caden twisted and turned with her still riding upon his feet. Suddenly she realized how strong Caden was. She knew that, if he chose to, Caden could force her to do anything that he wanted. Appreciation for the distance he had kept when she was weak flowed through her and an admiration, which she had never held for a man before, filled her senses.
The music stopped and Caden broke off from the rhythmic movement. He carried Isadora to her shoes and set her down. She put her now uncomfortable shoes and sighed. She really did not want the magic of this night to end.
Neither did Caden. “Would you like to go into the garden and talk?”
“Um…” she started, blushing without meaning to, “of course.”
He held out his big, brown hand and Isadora took it meekly. They walked out to the colorful maze of flowers. There was a full moon out and the stars sparkled above their heads. The night air was cold and Isadora shivered as it touched her bare arms.
“It’s cold,” she stated.
“Here.”
Caden took off the black, suit jacket he was wearing and helped Isadora into it. A faint scent of cologne lingered within the warm clothing.
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
Isadora blushed at the intense look in Caden’s eyes.
“So…what do you do to maintain all this property?”
“I work for the government.”
Isadora’s senses went on full alert. When she was a young girl, she was the princess of the Realms. But, her mother became jealous of the power Isadora held. The queen planned to have her executed. However, Isadora’s nurse maid caught wind of the plot and stole away with Isadora in the middle of the night. Even today, the queen had a vendetta for her daughter.
If Caden was working for the government, it meant that he was working for her mother. She could feel her open heart turn into stone. She was suddenly aware that Caden was still holding her cold hand. Her eyes turned to steal and a chain wrapped around her heart. It would take a lot of work to remove that chain.
Caden was unaware of the change Isadora had just gone through.
Finally, she replied, “I see. What do you do in the government?” she asked hoping that it was a mild desk job. She was wrong.
“Secret operative type things, like hunting down murderers, keeping thieves off the streets, and settling riots. Boring stuff really,” he said with a smile.
Isadora disentangled her hand from his. “I just remembered,” she said with urgency, “I have to be somewhere tomorrow and I need to get some good sleep,” she yawned, “Goodnight.” She quickly took off his coat and thrust it at Caden. She rushed out of the garden, her skirts rustling as she left, leaving Caden standing there in confusion.
When Isadora reached her room, she leaned against her door and, for the first time in years, she started to cry. Her heart felt it was about to burst. Just my luck! When I start to like someone, they turn out to be my enemy!
She gathered up the clothes that were in the closet and changed into tight, black pants and a spaghetti strap black shirt. Over this, she placed a black cloak and pulled the hood over her head. She went down to the kitchen and gathered some food for her journey away from this castle. She could not stay in this house knowing that he was here. Isadora then went down to the stables. She took some black tack and placed upon a completely black, wild, stallion. After he was ready, Isadora jumped on and raced out the gate and disappeared into the night.
***
The next morning, Caden was awakened by the sound of someone shouting outside his stain glass windows.
Caden got up and rushed outside to the stables, where all the commotion was taking place.
“What in the realms is going on?” he screamed.
One of the stable hands timidly approached him.
“Well, sir, your horse, Midnight, well…”
“What about him?”
“He was stolen last night.”
“WHAT!” Caden bellowed.
Caden almost never became angry, but right now his face had turned a bright red as he tried to hold his temper in check.
Midnight was his horse, his favorite horse. Caden had caught him and trained him all by himself. It was his first wild stallion. Both human and horse loved each other dearly, and both connected well when they both rode with that free Mustang spirit! However, when others tried to even come near Knight, he would go crazy, rearing and bucking, just to keep them away. For this reason, Caden was the only one who could touch him, much less handle him.
Puzzled, Caden was trying to comprehend how his prize horse could have been stolen without a big commotion, much less how someone could have ridden him out of the courtyard!
“Sir!” yelled Cassandra.
“What?” he screamed back, with all the anger and frustration that was threatening to boil over.
Cass shrank back in fear and answered timidly, “I just thought you would li ke to know that your guest has left.”
“YES!” Caden heard Elizabeth scream in the background.
“When?” he asked a little more mildly.
“No one knows, sir. She was not in her room this morning and all her stuff was gone when I went to check on her. She even took her old, dirty cloak with her! Also, sir, some of the food for tonight’s diner with the queen is missing.”
“Your tack is missing as well, my lord,” chimed in the old, dependable stable master.
Caden sighed. “I have a pretty good guess about what happened to my horse. Problem is I don’t know where she will go. Call my men. We will hunt her down like a fox!” he said, making a fast decision. “And,” he added, “I want her alive!”
“Aye, sir. She will be alive.”
The troops gathered their horses together and they all mounted them. The thundering hooves swept out of the courtyard.
Isadora heard them coming and hid behind a gigantic tree in the forest which she had been traveling in for about three hours. It was almost impossible to catch her! She was as slippery as a snake, as cunning as a fox, and as fast as a cheetah, especially with her new horse.
The forest was the perfect place for Isadora to hide. No one knew the terrain better than she. After she had escaped her evil mother, Isadora had hidden in this forest in order to keep herself safe. She had lived here for six months and had worked at the nearby village as a way of gaining money, food, and warm clothing. Sometimes, she would even stay the night in the town so that she could have a nice, soft, clean bed for a change. As she worked, she realized all the horrors her mother had done for the people. The queen could care less that they were starving and could not pay their taxes! Just as long as the queen was happy! That’s all that really mattered! So, Isadora became a hero for the people by fighting off the abusive warriors, warriors like Caden!
Just this simple warning made Isadora’s heart burn with anger. She was determined not to get involved! No matter what!
As they continued to approach, Isadora slowed her breath and made herself be perfectly still. They kept riding, oblivious to the lone outcast.
Then Caden came in to view. Fierce, heroic, and strong, Isadora let out a gasp, not realizing before how much his finely tanned muscles showed. A longing filled her heart, but she knew she could not have him!
Suddenly, Midnight let out a huge whiny and bolted toward his beloved master. Isadora cursed under her breath.
Caden tuned. He walked casually up to the dark forest on his right. He peered around one of the trees. Surprise washed over him as he saw a familiar lazar lying in the dirt. However, Isadora was nowhere in sight.
That was close! Isadora glanced down to her belt. Where’s my lazer? She started panicking, then remembered she had brought a spare.
In fact, the other lazer she had with her was far more important than the other one that she had made. This lazer was a gift from her father. He made if for Isadora’s fifth birthday. It was her very first lazer. Her father, Alden Adair, desired her to learn how to fight and become as good as or better than most men who fought.
However, when he died, Isadora was left alone to defend herself against the whole world. It seemed like they all hated her. No what she did, she was hated by every courtier and royal.
She was forced to leave her home and all she held dear. But, the worst betrayal was when she learned that her mother, Adriana Adair, desired to kill her. Isadora was heartbroken and fled in fear and terror.
Now, again, she was alone without anyone on her side. At least I know what I will do this time. She thought, trying to be optimistic.
After the army had passed, Isadora slipped away into the coming darkness.
***
A black masked, slim figure crouched, unnoticed, upon a five story high, stone building. The blur rushed on, jumping from building to building, keeping to the safety of the shadows. It continued for a while, then stopped right before reaching the grand royal castle. It jumped down off of its high building perch and approached the draw gate.
“Hey, who’s there?” yelled one of the only guard posted at the gate on this night.
No answer came from out of the darkness. The mysterious figure stayed one with the night.
“Show yourself!” came the demand.
The figure stepped out of the darkness. The slim person was a young lady dressed in black, tight-fitting, cargo pants, a black tank, a black, hooded cloak, and a black eye-mask.
“Who...who are you?” questioned the now very pale guard in a shacking voice.
“I am the voice of the people. I am the savior of the oppressed. I am justice. And I am the royal’s worst nightmare,” she paused. “I am the Black Knight.”
Chills played across the guard’s body. He wanted to run, but knew the consequences for deserting his post. Even though he remained where he was, the guard knew that this was probably the end.
Everyone had heard rumors of the Black Knight. It was said that she was the most beautiful and enchanting person in all the realms, but the most dangerous person to ever run into. People said that she could handle any weapon placed in her hands. They also said that she could make and invent any weapon she desired or imagined. No one could even come near to matching her skill in combat, and the only way to defeat her was to wear her down until she could hardly fight anymore. In able to do this, however, one would need a vast army that could replace each other quickly, or else there is no hope.
Walter, the guard, had all this information replaying itself in his mind. I really wish I hadn’t been promoted now, no matter how much more money it pays! He thought in despair.
A smirk appeared on the Black Knight’s face. “Don’t worry,” she said smoothly. “I won’t kill you. But I do need your help. Just open the gate and walk home. No one will know, I guarantee it!” she winked.
“I…,” he gulped, “I can’t…do…th-that, ma’am. I wish I co-could, but I ca-can’t,” he stuttered.
“Why not?” she demanded in a harsh tone.
“The queen…she would ki-kill me! I-I would like to help. In fact, I really admire you!” he rushed. “B-but my job, and li-life, depend on me keeping pe-people like you ou-out. Please don’t kill me!” he pleaded.
The Black Knight burst out laughing, surprising Walter out of his wits. She couldn’t help it!
“I’m not going to kill you! Where did you get that? I am very nice to the normal people like you!”
Just those stuck-up, heartless, royal jerks that live in their beautiful castles and think only of themselves are the ones that should worry!
Like Caden? Her mind asked her.
Isadora, who was the Black Knight, could feel her heart break in two. She knew that Caden’s job caused him to do the very thing that she hated, but, she could not see her Caden doing what the high generals and guards did to the people. None the less, she knew he did, which made her upset even more.
“You’re not?” came the surprised, interrupting question.
She smiled kindly. “Of course not.”
He let out a sigh of relief.
“
I really don’t want to hurt you, but since you refuse to co-operate, I may be forced to…dispense of you temporarily.”
“I just can’t let you go through this gate!”
“As you wish.”
The Black Knight walked toward him and placed her hand behind his head, placing the slightest pressure on one of his neck muscles, rendering him unconscious immediately. Then she took her lazar and made a whole in the door just big enough for her to fit through.
Once she was on the other side, Isadora located her position, and then headed north toward the royal treasury. The grand building reached up to five thousand feet, begging the Black Knight to climb it. It took her thirty minutes to reach the top of this monstrosity. Praying that the guard was still in his deep slumber, she took out one of her many pocket knives and started at the lock to the treasure room.
Isadora was surprised to find that the door just swung open. Her senses started tingling as she realized how easy all this had been. The one guard, no alarm, and now no lock on the door!
Her brain suddenly came alive. It’s a trap!
She turned to run. Standing right in front of her blocking the way stood the royal’s best soldiers, including Caden.
Isadora could feel her heart go cold and the color drain from her face. If just Caden was standing there, looking like an angel, the Black knight would have no will power to move. In fact, at this very moment, her feet would not move.
“HALT!” came the strong, commanding voice, which belonged to Caden.
Like I could do anything else?
“Don’t worry royal,” she said, trying to sound calm, “I’m not going anywhere.”
Surprise covered Caden’s face. “Do you know what will happen when I turn you over to the Queen?”
“Yes, I do actually. I’ve used some of the same techniques on my captives, but only the really bad royals,” she winked at Caden.
“I don’t think you realize how serious this is!”
“I do, sir, I just choose not to think about it. It’s easier to walk to your death if you really don’t know how it is going to happen beforehand.”
Caden was astounded by this girls reasoning. Most prisoners wanted to know how they were going to be killed before it happened. In fact, they usually got down on their knees and begged him to let them go, or at least lessen the sentence so that the death would not be as painful.
“So…you are not going to plead for your life?”
Isadora pushed her chin up and glared at Caden. “I never beg for anything, especially mercy!”
“Everyone out!” he commanded to all of his men.
They all scrambled out, tripping over themselves as they went, not wanting to be caught in the mighty lion’s paws.
After they had all left the room, Caden leaned back against the door, his tall frame completely blocking the only escape route.
“Who are you?”
“I don’t believe that is any of your business.”
He sighed. “Listen, this is not a game. Are you willing to forfeit your life for a few stolen jewels?”
“
If it keeps others alive, then yes.”
Caden slowly walked toward her and in a low, husky voice whispered, “Tell me who you are.”
Isadora could not breathe. The beating of her heart was so loud, she was sure he could hear it.
Caden reached up and started to pull off the only object obscuring his vision of the mysterious women: her mask.
For a moment, Isadora let him slowly pull it off of her. Suddenly, she snapped out of her daze and backed away from him.
“I can’t tell you.”
“It would make your life so much easier.”
“No, it would make it more complicated!” She basically screeched at him. After a minute pause—in which Caden was trying to understand her meaning—she spoke again. “I’m sorry Caden, but I can’t allow you to turn me in.”
She backed up to the only small window in the building and threw herself out of it.
“NO!” Caden rushed to the window and grabbed the woman’s hand.
“Let go of me!”
“I won’t let you hurt yourself! And I won’t let you die! At least, not this way!”
Tears spring to her eyes and started pouring down her delicate face.
“Why do you care?” she asked accusingly.
“I…I don’t know. I just know I can’t let you die, and my job demands that I don’t let you escape. Let me pull you up. I don’t want to fight you, but I will if I must!”
Too chocked up to argue, or even reply, she remained silent as the tears continued to flow down her face.
Compassion filled Caden’s broken heart until he felt as if he would burst.
He helped the young lady up and wrapped his arms around her, comforting her as much as he possibly could.
“There, now. It’s okay. You can come back to my place. I’ll take care of you! Maybe I can even convince the queen to let you go.”
Isadora stiffened in his arms. “The queen will never forgive me!”
“Of course she will! Just give her a chance! She’s not all bad.”
“You don’t understand! She’s been trying to kill me since the day I was born.”
Isadora pulled away from Caden.
He was astonished by this information. Surely she couldn’t do anything to the queen as a baby! Could she?
“Of course I could! I was born. That was enough!”
He was shocked. “You can read my mind?”
“I can do far more than that, royal!” she hissed.
“So, then, why did you let me capture you?”
Isadora turned away from him and rubbed her arms trying to ward off the coldness that she felt. Nothing would take away the chill that filled her heart.
“I…I…I just felt like it, okay!” she screamed at him. “Now, can you let me go? I need to get out of here before the queen arrives.”
“I’m not stopping you.” Caden replied innocently.
But you are! By standing there, you are!
“Goodbye, my beloved.” With that, she stepped out the window and disappeared into the night.
Beloved? Why would she call me that? I don’t even know her! Well...not really.
“Her Royal Highness for you, sir!”
“My lady,” he said with a bow.
“Hello my dear Caden. Now, then, where’s that little thief? I will give her exactly what she deserves!”
“Stealing isn’t so bad, is it, your majesty?”
“What do you mean? Is it that bad! Of course it is, you half-wit! I will have her beheaded, post her head on the turrets! I will kill her using the scaffold! She will be tortured past endurance! Now, where is she?”
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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Original Text:
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Alot has been said that I can't really add to, other than the fact that you use Isadora's name an awful lot, here are just a couple examples.
“Can I get you somthin’, darlin’?” the bar owner asked, interrupting her crazy thoughts. The bar tender was somewhere in her early fifties and was heavy set. Isadora could see all the way down her too low shirt.
“Um…” Isadora replied absent mindedly.
“Don’t be shy! Just tell me what you want,” demanded the lady.
“I’ll have a Fire, over the rocks,” Isadora responded authoritatively.
and there are many, many more examples. I really think introducing your characters name through dialogue would improve the way the story is read, maybe have her introduce herself and then never have to use her name again, In that way, lol. Or have her friend call out to her. Anyway good job. Keep writing.
I really liked this story.
It reminds me of how Victoria Alexander writes. Normally, switching back and forth between characters POV doesn't work, but you did an excellent job here. It was original, yet completely your own, if you get what I mean. You should read some of J.R. Ward's books. You would like them.
I agree that this is the best you've written. I'm looking forward to reading some more of your work. PM me when you write more!:D
~~Nikki
I thought that the story was a bit cliched' as you mentioned and i didn't think that the writing was inventive enough to make up for that fact. Some bits were promising, for instance i liked the bickering servants and didn't feel like it was strange that Caden would keep them hired as he seems like he justs ignores it if he can. I'm not sure about the servant kissing him though, i think that would cross the line and i think because of this she wouldn't do it. I also feel that the emotions do move to fast for it to be realistic.
Also i think that her friend is really crap to let her be raped and her line about the nickname is unatural so i would change that.
Overall i think that you need to rethink how to present this but their is promise in the language use.
in my opinion, a long story is good.
but this was a little too long.
Maybe put it into two parts?
Also, the characters keep switching.
Other then that, it was good.
I enjoyed it, rather(:
As Jabber said, we don't know very much about Dora's friend. To me, she sounds like a really bad friend. I mean, this guy is about to rape Dora, and her friend is like "oh..." wink wink, nod nod. I suggest you change that.
Come on. These people have to work for a living. I don't think they would have time for any of that.
then they're like fighting all the time,
and THEN they seem to suddenly like eachother.
(Sorry if you can't see the smileys) I mean, what happened to the warrior lady?
I know people get swept away, but this seems a little unrealistic.
:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

The whole bedroom scene is almost irrelevant, because the point is that Caden comes to save the day. What was he doing there? It's hard to believe that he just "happened" to drop by. Do they know eachother from before? Does he go there often?
We don't need to know any details about the servants unless they have something relevant to the story. We don't need to know about them getting in cat fights because one spilled ink on the other.
Also, Caden knowing about the servants liking him makes him sound very conceited. Either have him not know, or change the servants. Just to warn you, having a bunch of girls in his castle... what would the neighbors think? I have a good idea about that.
What I mean by Dora and Canden's switching characters... first, they're going at eachother, when she's conscious
I'm sorry if my last post seemed snappish. I wasn't in a good mood that day.
Keep writing.
Hi! Here to tear your story apart. ^_^
This sentence is clunky. Maybe do: The touch of cold metal reassured her that she could handle whatever these men had in store for an attractive young woman like her. Something along these lines will do. It's not the best, but you wouldn't have to worry about comma usage. (btw, what you have already needs a comma between 'that' and 'whatever'.)
Bartender is one word. The last sentence is clunky (I'll use this word a lot). You're already describing her in the previous sentence, so keep the description up! Her shirt was down so low, it sickened the young woman.
People use 'um' a lot in their dialogue, but I don't like using it too much. In this case, I would just say Isadora didn't say anything, deep in her own thoughts. Using 'um' here makes it look like you didn't know what to write as much as Isadora didn't know what to say (if that made any sense at all).
That's a really long word that looks like you slapped on your paper to look smart. You can easily say 'replied, realizing what the bartender was asking' or 'Returning to reality, Isadora said...'
Gave me tiny goosebumps, so you're on the right track here. Since, in the next sentence, she spun around, you could say if Isadora jumped at the sound of a strange voice behind her. Tell us how Isadora reacted as he spoke to her, not just after he spoke. Her heart beat rapidly? Did she become nervous, her hands sweating? That's probably going over the top for the type of woman Isadora really is, but maybe it's not, lol.
First of all, it's "twenty-something-year-old." Secondly, is that all I get to know about him? Dark eyes and twenty-some years old? Is he a burly, muscled man who looks difficult to tackle with? Is he easy on the eyes?
Instead of 'room', say 'wooden floors' or whatever type of floor she has. This way, you sneakily put in some description about the bar.
"Maniac" dear, lol. And, again, did Isadora wince at his strong grip? Or did she smirk at his pathetic hold on her and knew she could make an easy escape? Draw us into the fight. This is action and a reader can easily be drawn into action when written dramatically and correctly. Here's an example:
Isadora winced at the strong grip he had on her. She gritted her teeth to keep from saying anything. Her free hand sneaked down toward her only defense, hoping the no one would notice her plan of action.
Here's that 'um' trap again. You can definitely delete that, unless Isadora is the type of character who doesn't know what she's doing. Hopefully she thinks fast. If she does, then get rid of 'um...' Make it look like she knows what she's doing and that she's defended herself before. So far, I, as a reader, am assuming she is not a newbie at this stuff.
Maybe the cold smile he made sent chills down her spine. Is her hands sweating? Her heart beating rapidly? Did her fingers itch to grab the lazer, but she held herself back for a more appropriate time? Make the reader feel for Isadora. I want to feel her fear, want to fear for her!
I need some facial expressions now. Is her brow furrowed? It would definitely go with 'harshly' here. Or is she playing the part as a whore, interested in what he had planned for her? Did she tense up? Gimme, gimme, gimme!
I hate those two words. They're so boring. Use "at that moment" instead. And how did she come in? Did she stop in mid-step? Or did she continue on with her job, not shocked at all?
How about: "...the man said before Isadora could say anything."
Again, the bartender can show a lot more emotion, body language, etc. Did Isadora's cheeks flush a deep red? You get the drift, lol.
There's 'um' again. Here, you can delete 'um' and do this:
Isadora said quickly, "No thanks. We can't afford--" She stopped mid-sentence as the man tightened his grip on her arm. She gritted her teeth from the bruise he was giving her.
I had to reread this to see which woman he was speaking to at whatever point.
Be quite, woman!" the man snapped at Isadora. He looked to the bartender with a mischievous look. "We may need that room...soon[/i]," he added, looking back at Isadora. Isadora knew...[/i]
Very good with your temper description. ^_^
The second can just be: I'll have Dora lead you to...I don't know why they would need Arlene to have the same bartender fetch Dora, but okay. ^_^
You can just say: leaving Isadora in the monster's strong grasp
Is Isadora the kind of person to simply say 'what's your name'? You may need to figure out what kind of person she is before you write out her dialogue. I would think Isadora would stall for time by acting, making the man think he’s winning her over. I’ve never heard of a captive, who’s in pain and is being watched by a monster, would just say ‘So, what’s your name?’ Say something like she’s ‘playing the part’ or just say what I explained here.
Isadora needed to do something! She needed time to think! Stalling for time, she decided to toy with him as he as been toying with her. She eased up a bit, fluttered her eyelashes a couple times, and tilted her head slightly before asking, “So what’s a big fella’ like you named?”
So is he not a big, burly guy? Is he someone that Isadora could easily shove away? Why is he smiling shyly? If he’s big and burly Ajay, then have him smirk. I don’t think you have your characters straight. Might need to go over that.
No. You’re just telling us straight out. It looks like you’re trying to find an excuse for something (I crit as I read, btw). Try this, if you’re willing to use this:
“That explains why you’re so arrogant,” Isadora said with a smirk. “Knowing your name means invincible, I’ll guess you’re always this full of yourself.”
These sentences can be joined into one paragraph. Now, we can better describe his reaction. You tend to just tell us what happens. Again, we want the reader to see his temper.
Isadora saw Ajay’s face turn plum, his jaw tightened as well as his hold on her. “I believe we need that room key now!” he roared, glaring at the young woman in front of him. The men behind him laughed, knowing the fun was about to begin.
Don’t capitalize ‘sir.’ Does the girl laugh at this? Or does she hurry to get the key before Ajay explodes with rage? Even this nobody deserves some details.
Here’s a huge part that deserves more attention. We finally meet Caley! I’m all excited, but you didn’t show me Caley. You just told me she was there. I don’t feel relieved for poor Isadora, but I want to. Does Isadora look relieved? Or shocked that Caley is dressed as she is? Does Caley drop a mug which shatters across the floors at the site of Isadora? Or does she laugh and smile, ignoring Ajay altogether? And what does she look like? Does she have blonde hair? Does she have brown curls bounding on her bare shoulders? Do her blue eyes sparkle with joy at seeing her best friend? Or with fear at seeing Isadora being treated as such? Maybe Caley was flirting with another guy when Ajay spoke up and she’s now bustling out of a man’s grasp. So much can be explained. You can tell us so much about the characters in just this part.
I didn’t realize Ajay said this until I read the next sentence.
“Enough talk!” Ajay shouted, jerking Isadora to silence. “Fetch me the key, woman!”
No capitals. A lot more can be shown with just “Oh!” And ‘knowingly’ should come after an exclamation showing she knows something. ‘Oh’ is an exclamation of shock or surprise, not of knowledge.
“Oh!” Caley exclaimed, digging in her pockets. “’Course I do!” She pulled out a dull silver key and handed it to Ajay, winking at Isadora. “Here ya go, big guy. Take care of her, now!” She floated off as if she knew something that he didn’t know.
Very good with this.
Maybe put a tag like “…begin?” he asked, a wicked grin on his face, rubbing his hands together. Or, don’t even let him ask politely. Have him say, “Don’t try anything stupid, girl.”
Very good here, too, except for the bolded word. It should be ‘inhuman’. It’s not an adverb here, it’s an adjective.
Kind of a lame way to start an interrogation, lol. Try this for a start:
“You will answer my questions, or you won’t like the consequences.” She waited for him to say something, but he remained quiet, his face burning with rage. “Who is the helpless victim?” Btw, who is the helpless victim? Do I know this, or is this something the audience doesn’t know yet?
Oh, is Ajay the helpless victim? Or is he just being smart. Anyway, a comma should after the bolded word.
Isadora eyed his lazer before saying carefully, “It looks…you leave?” Also, it looks like Ajay said this, so join this with the previous sentence to form a paragraph to itself.
I don’t think that’s a good choice of dialogue here. How about he just doesn’t say anything, catching Isadora off guard, or nearly catching her off guard? Unless you can think of a better quote, don’t have him say anything here.
Nice job with the rest of the paragraph.
Go stranger! Because he’s the hero, have him drag out his statements. Like so:
“That should take care of him,” a young man of nineteen said, brushing his hands off. He looked up at Isadora with glittering blue eyes. “Are you alright? You look pale.”
“Easy now,” he said softly. “You better lie down.” (Yours is a question. ^_^ )
I would use ‘added’ instead of ‘said’.
There’s a typo, but it should be rewritten anyway.
Hypnotized by his musical voice, she did as she was told without hesitation. Then delete the next sentence.
[/quote]Another nod.[/quote]
She’s been awful quiet lately. After this, add: She didn’t trust herself to speak to an angel.
One paragraph, this is. ^_^
“What do you mean ‘is it half bad’?!” she screeched.
Very good plot, but you need work on telling the reader the story. Just like me, you get so into the story that you forget the details, lol. I wrote my first chapter about 6 times before I finally found it acceptable.
This was very long. I suggest breaking it down into a few chapters. That way, people wouldn’t be afraid to critique it.
I can’t remember what I was going to say. It’s time for bed, lol.
Oh, I remember! I tell this to everyone: We have five senses: taste, touch, smell, sight, and sound. Make the reader use them! That’s as much as I can say without giving examples, and I did give examples up above. But random examples: Her soft hair smelled of sweet lavender in the spring. The clear waters of the pool was cold to the touch, sending shivers down up her leg and through her entire body.
Keep writing! Let me know if you’ll make more ‘cause I really enjoyed this! (If you are writing more).
Jabber, the One and Only!
OKAY............. sorry, my computer keeps messing up. Starting to get annoyed.
:(:(
:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D
First, this is WAY too long.
Second, Dora and Caden keep switching characters on us.
Third..... why does Caden put up with his whiney servants?
Okay, I thought you could do a lot better with this. They are falling in love way to fast, and we don't really know what Dora is thinking throughout this.
Because we don't know her thoughts, and we don't really know what's going on, this makes your story sound long and, yes, cliche.
If you have any questions or.... well, I don't know... feel free to PM me
I really didn't read the whole thing.
But I really liked some of the things I scanned. For example the content was really nice. A word of advice DesperateRomantic, I would like to see more romance and love because judging from your title, like you, I am sort of a desperate romantic. Really if you need anymore advice because you're probably new here be sure to PM me. Loved your story, think it'll make a great book one day. Summer
P.S. Please look for some of my post I'd like to read what you think